Our wedding recap!

On July 22, 2023, I married my husband Brandon! We had a fairly low stress wedding, and the simplicity made it so easy to enjoy the weekend with family and friends. We had a clear vision of what we wanted while planning our wedding, and I’d like to share how we did that for any future brides. I’m also going to talk about our favorite elements of the wedding and anything we learned along the way!

The most important thing we did in the planning process was having a clear idea of what our intentions were for our wedding. I frequently asked myself “am I doing this because I want to or because it’s expected”? That helped me prioritize choices and decide what worked best for me and Brandon. A few examples of this include forgoing the bachelorette/bachelor party (we’re in our prime relax at home era), skipping a bridal shower (another thing to plan!), and not waiting to wear our wedding bands (we spent the money, why not enjoy them early!). I know Instagram can be very influential and make you believe that you aren’t celebrating being a fiancée if you don’t have a bachelorette party on the beach, but don’t fall for it! The engagement period is such a fun time for planning a memorable day and preparing for marriage, but it’s not the time to stress about things for the sake of how they look. One thing I always kept in mind was whether what I thought I ‘should’ do or ‘should’ have was expected 40 years ago. So many things are being marketed as normal or necessary, and it’s not worth the stress or money to keep up with trends. Make sure you’re planning the right wedding for you and your spouse. Brandon and I knew what was really important to us was getting married and celebrating our special day! Thinking of our wedding as a ‘public elopement with a reception to follow’ made us less influenced by the wedding market.

Choices we made that we don’t regret:

1. Skipped having a wedding party: I knew I would put my full force into planning this wedding, and it’d be easier to do if we just had a best man and maid of honor to keep looped in. It was also a good decision for us because it meant less pictures we’d need to take and we could skip the rehearsal. With our wedding being further away for my side of the guest list, I liked that everyone (outside of my immediate family) only had to commit to one day of the weekend for any festivities.
2. Made our own cakes: We made 4 vanilla, 3 strawberry, and 3 chocolate cakes on the Thursday before the wedding. This ended up taking us just 7-8 hours (including baking and frosting), although we did make our strawberry reduction the night before. This was great for us because I have been vegan for ~10 years and didn’t want to have to worry about finding a baker that would suit my needs and taste great. I loved how we were able to practice each month and knew exactly how they would taste. Plus, it definitely saved us money!
3. Our sweetheart table: I loved having a little table that was just for us. It gave us some privacy while we ate and just looked cute!
4. Sticking together: We woke up together, spent the morning together, and except for the ~30 min between me putting on my dress and our first look, we spent the whole day together! When we went around to every table to greet guests at the reception, we did it side by side! Your wedding day goes by so fast, we didn’t want to spend more than a minute apart. I love how we have the same memories of that day because we really did spend it together.
5. Did my own makeup: I LOVED doing my own makeup. Did it look like the professional makeup you see done on Instagram? No. But I was comfortable in it and wasn’t trying to clean up areas that I didn’t like. For me, I loved knowing what my face was going to look like instead of wondering whether my makeup artist would do a good job! Plus – it saved money!
6. Made our flowers: ZERO regrets for the DIY flowers! I loved how they turned out and knew exactly how they’d look. (Can you tell I don’t like unknowns?!) Plus, I am definitely reusing our table arrangements for my baby shower!
7. Short ceremony: Our ceremony was insanely short, less than 5 minutes! But we knew it’d be HOT and didn’t want our guests (or us) sweating or getting overheated. I’m glad we kept in short because in the moment we were both so nervous!
8. Photobooth instead of guestbook: I knew I probably wouldn’t look at our guestbook much, so we wanted to explore other options for remembering who was able to make it to our wedding. I love how many photobooth pictures our guests took, and I’ve looked through them a handful of times already!
9. Creating a charity registry link: We had so much support on our St. Jude Children’s Hospital charity event and were blown away by the contributions of our guests. I love how one of our last memories on our wedding night was sitting on the floor together making our own donation!
10. Not requiring tuxes: Brandon purchased his own tux, so that was easy to work out the logistics for. However, it just seemed silly to have the boys and my dad rent and wear tuxes on a hot summer day just for the sake of pictures. We decided to have the boys wear khaki shorts, lightweight polos, and white slip on shoes that they could wear after the wedding too!

Tips for future brides:

• Wait until you’re in a situation to decide how you feel about something. It’s easy to read wedding forums and think ‘I would never be ok with that!’ but you may be surprised that certain things aren’t a big deal to you when you’re in the moment and have the full context.
• We had a table for guests to work on a 1000 piece puzzle of our engagement picture, and I never saw the puzzle unattended! Guests loved an entertainment option that wasn’t dancing! (Bonus tip, get it started with family/friends the night before that way guests are encouraged to work on it!)
• PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE! We completed our premarital workbook before our wedding and knew where we stood on parenting (although it was a little late for that!), work, finances, intimacy, family, etc.
• Stick to your budget and decide on it early! We balanced our pricier choices with DIY or lower budget options. Everyone says you’ll go way over your budget, but that’s only if you allow that to be an option.

I hope you got some good advice you can use for yourself or a friend in the wedding planning process! As a newlywed of more than two months now, I can say the wedding was such a fun time, but nothing compares to the safety and comfort I have with knowing that I have a partner in life. When my friend and I had our hotel broken into, it was so reassuring to know my husband was dropping everything to come be with us in another state! I wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything!

Thanks for reading!

Davien